Thursday, October 05, 2006

In the Chute Room: The Chute Room Comes Through!

I'm singing. I'm running around my place singing here. Today was the day! Today the Chute Room came through!

So like I said, I've been toiling away there in the Chute Room like a crazy person. Then this bag comes down the upper middle chute with a zero tag on it, so I'm supposed to stuff it down the middle bottom chute.

Except, like I said, lately I've been none too gentle with the bags when they come down. I notice this one's straps are a little frayed up where the padlock is, so I toss it around the room a bit. I was banging it against the sides of the bottom chutes, looking over my shoulder to make sure Vanderboom isn't standing there.

The bag has all kinds of junk in it, I can tell. I can hear hard things clanking against hard things, feel soft things shifting around, and it's heavy like it is when there's also stacks and stacks of paper. Your typical Chute Room bag.

I'm banging it around, then BLAMMO! A couple of the padlock straps snap and I'm spinning around spraying the contents all over the place. And yeah, it's documents and paperweights and CD-ROMs and old overalls and sports cleats and dried roses and photographs . . . a fine cross section of Chute Room swag.

Bazbo said it really didn't matter what I swiped, and I didn't have any time to be choosy. I grabbed a CD and a photograph and stuffed them down my pants. Then I hit the button on the wall and turned my back while Vanderboom and his jokers came in with the cart to spirit the mess away.

I was terrified that the jig was up, but the jig wasn't up. They just treated it normal.

I worked the rest of the day all sweaty in the crotch, with the CD and photo pinching my nether regions. I didn't dare mess with them, didn't want to get caught with 'em in my hands. I just checked in the bathroom to see if you could notice anything up and sweated out the day.

I called Bazbo's line and left her a message. I still haven't heard back. Where's she at?

Man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. I am absolutely singing over here. Guess who's gonna call in sick tomorrow? I'm gonna call in sick tomorrow! I may never have to go to the Chute Room again. Bang ZOOM!

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